July 9th, 2018

No, I'm Not Your Friend (Top Singles, First Half 2018)

"It's a real nigga party, you cannot get in," which not only leaves me out, it leaves out most people who describe themselves with the n-word as well, and leaves you out, the way FBG Duck defines it: "Niggas really shoot, no accident / I can't make this shit up, I cannot pretend, damn." The thing is — I'd call it a strange thing except it's actually quite natural — his disinvite has attracted hordes: not people trying to get into the aforementioned party, but people using the track — FBG Duck's "Slide" — as a model for creating their own parties. He captured it, the way people speak, the long slow drawl, dragging out and down the last word of the phrase, "I can't make this shit up, I cannot pre-te-end." Primal sentences, "I can't shake your hand, no I'm not your friend / I don't fuck with rappers, no I'm not a fan, damn." Dave and I were grievously underrating his voice over on my comment thread, but people find themselves in it, take his words and mold them into their words: Bangg 3: "Issa bad bitch party, you cannot get in / I can take your man, pass 'im to my friends." There are eight versions so far on my top singles list, and scores more out there on YouTube, new ones every day. There's one in Romanian, another in Greek. There's a kids one by Mac Sauce: "It's a little kids party you cannot get in / We know that you're too old, we know that you're not ten." And the best version, by gay rapper Kidd Kenn, stone courage: "It's the faggot party baby you cannot get in / Takin' all the men, his homies and his friends, damn / If you think the boy is straight, well think again."

FBG Duck "Slide"


Bangg 3 ft. Goldie "Slide Remix"


Kidd Kenn "Slide Remix" [Flashing lights]


FBG Duck is daring you to come out and shoot, so he can shoot you ("Let me see some fuckin' shots fired then / Make me shoot that crib up you hidin' in"). Most of the male versions copy him in this (Yung Cat manages to be even more obvious: "It's the real killa party you cannot get in"); most of the female versions copy Bangg 3 in that having sex with someone is to prove something to someone else, to take something from someone else, to get even with someone else. (Sexyy Red: "[You] ain't got a lotta friends, I'm tryna fuck your man.") This is where Kidd Kenn goes, too. There are basic combinations, disses. Pretty Savage: "All your bitches' pussy don't get wet / Pull up, pop yo asses, how you pop them Percocets." Queen Key: "Heard some bitches dissed me but nobody liked it / I think yo music like yo pussy, bitch, nobody buys it, tried it (ha)."

Wit and phrasing aside, this is self-defeating behavior that — minus the bullets and sex acts — kids are learning to sidestep or shrug off or get beyond when they're still in kindergarten. At least trying to get beyond. (The only "Slide" remix devoid of nastiness is the one by little Mac Sauce.) Nonetheless this stuff still feels real, and that's because it feels risky, and we let the feeling stand in place of the truth. (It's role playing, of course, some people living the roles and some people not, either way still a role, a stereotype.)

Hazing and baiting and jealousy, but the guys are acting tough with it, while the girls are having a lot of fun. Sashaying around, wiggling, having a pillow fight. Men have the power advantage; women have the cultural advantage. The guys get to wave guns, that's it* — though maybe that's their entryway to having fun too, jumping around with and into each other, a secret dance in plain sight, the guns as the prop that masks it as something different.** The young women meanwhile can dance without excuses.

Ongoing Singles Playlist 2018


Top Singles, First Half 2018
1. Cassie "Don't Play It Safe"
2. Bhad Bhabie ft. YBN Nahmir, Rich The Kid, Asian Doll "Hi Bich (Remix)"
3. Ninety One "Ah!Yah!Ma!"
4. Kidd Kenn "Slide Remix"
5. Fairies "HEY HEY ~Light Me Up~"
6. Bhad Bhabie "Both Of Em"
7. Tay-K "After You"
8. KeshYou & Baller "Swala La La"



9. 6ix9ine "Billy"
10. Boy Tag ft. Tala A. Marie "Talla"
11. Tenor "Alain Parfait (Á L'Imparfait)"
12. The EastLight. "Don't Stop"
13. Cardi B "Be Careful"



14. Yella Beezy ft. Lil Baby "Up One"
15. Bhad Bhabie ft. Lil Yachty "Gucci Flip Flops"
16. Niniola "Saro"
17. Lil Pump "i Shyne"
18. MHD "Moula Gang" (AFRO TRAP Part.10)
19. Crowd Kontroller ft. Niniola "Bambam"



20. Mylène Farmer "Rolling Stone"
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*[EDIT: Well, obviously Kidd Kenn's not playing those rules.]

**Rob and I were talking about this back in 2000, regarding DMX.

This entry was originally posted at https://koganbot.dreamwidth.org/370632.html. Comments still welcome here, there, and anywhere.